Okay so this one is SUPER LONG one shot somehow instead of a drabble. Yay!

And it’s super angsty! Yay!

…what? At least one of these things needed to be.

“It wasn’t your fault.”

Izuku paused in the middle of unlatching the lock on his front door at
the sound of the soft mumble behind him. His grip tightened around his ring of
keys, his heart thundering in his chest as he bite his tongue to keep from
screaming.

“None of that was your-”

“Can we not-” Izuku muttered between his teeth, voice chocked.
“Not now, please?” He looked behind him to look at Ochako, her hero
costume burned and covered in soot much like his own, her face a picture of
grief despite whatever encouraging words she tried to use.

She looked like she’d been struck, and he cursed himself for doing
nothing but hurting people today.

He shook his head. “No wait I-” He took a deep breath and
looked at her again, voice slightly clearer. “I just-don’t think either of
us wants to hear something like that…right now.”

(Concrete shattering and buckling under its own weight, fire licking at
his face, people screaming)

Ochako eyes lost focus for a moment, opening and closing her mouth at a
loss at what to say to that, before letting her head drop in a quiet nod.

An apology burned in Izuku’s stomach, but he just couldn’t bring himself
to say it. “Let’s just…let’s get out of these clothes.” If he took
one more breath laced with the bite of smoke, he was going to lose his mind.

He unlocked the door with a soft turn of his key, pushed open the door
and waited for Ochako to enter. She looked behind her for a few minutes, eyes
focused on the distance, before sighing and slowly padding into their home,
already working on taking off her shoes as Izuku locked the door behind her.

Half an hour later, Izuku was standing in front of his bathroom mirror
as he placed one last bandage on a burn in his left thigh, eyes twitching from
the sting of disinfectant. He looked up when he finished, spying the many
elastic pads and off white bandages adorning his face, trying his hardest not
to think about what put them there.

(The flames deafening around him, the heat boiling him alive, smoke in
his lungs he can’t breathe he can’t breathe-)

“Izuku!” He flinched away from the hand on his shoulder,
whipping his head to see Ochako clad in nothing but her slightly damp underwear
and her wet hair framing her face. Any other time the sight would have sent him
sputtering, but the various angry red spots and lines marring her body only
sent a dull chill down his spine. “Are you okay? You spaced out there for
a minute.”

He shook his head harshly, scooting a bit away from her, the sight of
her wounds digging a pit in his gut. “I’m okay just…still a bit out of
it.”

Ochako frowned, raising a hand to brush away some of the hair stuck to
his forehead, revealing a bruise that traveled up into his hairline. “Are
you sure that hit didn’t…do anything bad?” Her face scrunched up in worry.
“Maybe we should call Recovery Girl-”

“I’m fine.” He snapped between clenched teeth, moving his head
away from her touch (doesn’t deserve it-this-her-never deserved anything
especially not tonight) and letting out a harsh breath. “The paramedics
already cleared me to go home…I’m…fine.”

“O-oh…” Her hand wilted to her side as she looked away, eyes
down cast. “S…I’m sorry.”

(She shouldn’t sound like that she shouldn’t not Ochako not her
she should be smiling and happy what’s wrong with him-!?)

“No.” He ground out
past his screeching head. “No don’t be I shouldn’t have…” He loses
what he means to say before he finishes his eyes wondering back to her, head
still down cast and eyes hidden under her wet brown locks. “Do you…”
He looks at her wounds, every angry red mark a tally mark of guilt stabbing
into him. “Do you want help…patching up I mean?”

She runs a hand over one bruise on her shoulder and winces, which brings
out a broken chuckle out of her. “Yeah.” She looks up with a sad
smile. “I’d like that.”

He reaches into the medicine cabinet for another bottle iodine and
rubbing alcohol along with a few more rolls of bandages, sets them on the sink
and gets to work. They spend a good half hour like this, Ochako quiet and pliant
under his hands as he covers her wounds one at a time, only making a sound when
disinfectant touches a particularly sore burn.

He walks around to reach her back, and the sight of the long, jagged red
marks on her back makes him want to jump out of his skin.

(Ochako screaming, a large woodan beam engulfed in flame fell right on
top of her. She doesn’t fall, a crying bundle in her hands as she simply shrugs
off the burning wood off of her and runs full tilt to the window to jump.)

“It looks worse than it feels.” She mumbles lamely, hugging
herself mutely as he finally sucks it up and takes another cotton swap into the
iodine. That takes a good five minutes, partly because Ochako asks for half a
second to catch her breath from the pain every few swipes, and half because
Izuku needs to make an effort to keep his cool and not crush the bottle in his
hands.

He finished wrapping the last bandage on her back over her shoulder,
hands shaking slightly as he put them against his knees. “We’ll…go to
Recovery Girl in the morning.” He said, unsteady. “Just to make sure
everything’s okay.”

Ochako nodded. “Okay.” She went to the laundry room and picked
up a random shirt to pull over her head. She went to the hallway connecting the
bedroom and living room and found Izuku standing stock still while looking at
the door to the bedroom. “…Ya know…” The sound of her mutter caused
him to look over his shoulder at her, eyes unfocused. “I…don’t think
either of us are going to be sleeping tonight.

Izuku could only nod bleakly, barely responding as Ochako took his hand
and led him to the couch in front of the TV. The both of them sat heavily on
the cushion, staring straight ahead at the black screen, hands stiff at their
sides.

Izuku lost track of time staring into the TV, mind blank and
unresponsive, before he felt Ochako lean her head on his shoulder and wrap her
hands around his forearm. Taking in a shuddering breath before he leaned his
forehead on the crown of her head, taking in a lungful of her shampoo.

(Vanilla and green tea, typical Ochako. Stronger than usual…must have
used half the bottle washing her hair…couldn’t blame her.)

Another long stretch of silence went by, nothing but the sound of cicadas
crying in the night air coming into their apartment through an open window in
the kitchen. Izuku feels one of Ochako’s hands leave their grip on his hands
and sees it reach across the couch…and come back with the remote.

Izuku’s eyes nearly bulge out of his skull. "Ochako we don’t-”

“I need to hear it Izuku.” She says her voice raw and
impossibly fragile (not fragile never fragile never how why didn’t help-)
as she grips the remote. “I need to see if sh-if everyone made it out
okay…I just need to.”

He opened and closed his mouth, struggling to find some way to stop her,
afraid (cowardcowardcoward- ) of what the news would do to her…to
him.

“Please.”

Every single half argument he had shriveled up and died. He reaches with
his hand to clasp it around hers and squeezes, but doesn’t say a word.

She presses the ON button, and a picture of a news anchor flickers to
life.

“-and continuing on from there, we have an update on the fire
that broke out in midtown Musutafu a mere two hours ago.”

Ochako nearly crushed his hand in hers.

“For those just tuning in, a villain with a fire quirk escaping
capture by local heroes entered a residential complex, and, in what police say
was a desperate last attempt to get away, started a fire that quickly over took
both him and the heroes pursuing him when it overheated a gas pipe and caused
an explosion.” The news anchor adjusted his glasses with a disturbed
look on his face. “The fire quickly grew to consume the whole building,
leaving fighters with little to no way to enter and rescue whatever survivors
remained.”

Ochako worried her lower lip with her teeth, Izuku squeezed back.

“Soon enough, several heroes arrived on the scene to assist,
among them the veteran pro hero Backdraft, and relative newcomers
Uravity and Deku.” A video of the fire as it happened appeared on the
screen, making Izuku’s heart jump to his throat. “Although it seemed
the rescue attempts were proceeding smoothly, the building soon began to
collapse inwards due to the damage of the fire and gas explosion.”

He could feel Ochako shaking and shivering under him, but when he
reached for the remote, she yanked it away from him with a firm shake of her
head. Her eyes stayed glued to the screen, refusing to budge.

“The heroes on sight were
quick to save as many as they could before the building fully collapsed.” The
picture changed to several still pictures of the heroes carrying out civilians
before going back into the flames, including Izuku with a man and a woman on
his back and Ochako with a bundle of clothe in her hands that she gave to a
nearby paramedic just as the building caved in on itself.  "Five people, including the villain
and heroes, were killed in the initial blast. Another 10 perished in the
flaming building, with at least a further 15 still unaccounted for.“

Ochako bit her lip hard enough that she opened a cut and blood trickled
thinly down her chin, Izuku could not move, a deep dread settling in the back
of his head.

”…And unfortunately,“ The news anchor continued with a
bitter sigh, ”not all those rescued survived the ordeal.“ Ochako
froze. ”About five had succumbed to smoke inhalation and injuries
caused by the fire…including among them five month old toddler Minami Ako, who
passed away from smoke inhalation just minutes a-“

The remote flew out of Ochako’s hand and embedded itself firmly into the
television, sparks and smoke sputtering out of the cavity.

Izuku couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe, all he could do was slowly look
back to Ochako as she breathed heavily and slowly started to make distressed
sounds as she hugged herself and rocking back and forth in a panic.

"O-Ochako…” Izuku pushed back his panic as far as he could
manage (help help her HELP HER YOU MORON-) and put his hands on her
shoulder to still her, “Ochako please you need to look at me please-”

A soul shattering, spine-freezing scream tore itself out of Ochako’s
throat, shocking Izuku stiff before she flung herself at him and clung to his
form like he was the only thing keeping her from drowning. She sobbed and
screamed into his chest almost incoherently, Izuku only barely able to get his bearings
enough to hold her close and run his hand through her hair and rock her gently,
his panic coming back in full force.

“She was-I had her-” She gasped and sobbed into
his shirt, her nails digging into his back as she cried. “I had her! I
had her in my arms!” She started screaming in earnest, voice going
hoarse. “I saved her! I got her out of there! And it didn’t even
MATTER!”

“Of-” Izuku mumbled, still in shock himself before he shook
himself straighter. “Of course i-it mattered Ochako-”

“NO IT DIDN’T!” She swung her head to look at him, tears
streaming down her cheeks. “I HAD SOMEONE IN MY ARMS AND THEY DIED! AGAIN!”
She slammed her face back into his chest, shaking from her sobs. “IT’S
NIGHTEYE ALL OVER AGAIN! I HAD HER! I HAD-” She collapsed into
helpless sobbing again, her words cutting Izuku to his core.

It’s been years, over a decade now, since that fateful mission against
the 8 Precepts, since the day the great Sir Nighteye perished, but not in a
blaze of glory, but attached to dozens of tubes and on a hospital bed as he
breathed his last.

Ochako was the one who carried him to safety, who was depened on to get
him out of danger fast enough to save his life…and in the end it didn’t matter.

Izuku had vague memories of the days following that incident, focused as
he was on Eri and Togata, but he could recall Ochako being…quiet, in those
first few weeks. She smiled less, laughed less, talked less…he wondered
if, when she was alone, she broke down like this…like she did during the sports
festival.

He could not stop her tears, not then, not now…but that didn’t give him
the right to do nothing.

“Nighteye didn’t die because of you.” He said of a sudden,
voice clear and sure despite the tears that have started to gall down his
cheeks to match her own. “Ochako that didn’t happen because you weren’t
fast enough.”

Ochako only buried her head deeper in his chest, refusing to look at
him.

He grasped her shoulder and hauled her up to meet her eye to eye.
“Nighteye died protecting his student and a young girl, he died doing
his job.” His words felt bitter on his tongue, but this is something
she needed to hear…that he needed to hear. “There was nothing you
could done to save him.”

Sniffed miserably. “If I had been faster-”

“You weren’t.” He stressed, squeezing her shoulders.
“You went as fast as you could, pushed yourself to the absolute limit
to save him…he was just…too far gone.” He looked at the broken TV set for
a split second before looking back at her. “…and so were the people in
that building.”

She sobbed weakly. “Izuku stop-”

“You went at it like you were mad.” He shook her so she
couldn’t ignore him. “You were surrounded by fire and smoke and had a wooden
beam fall on top of you and you just kept going.” He put her faced
between his hands, feeling her wet cheeks on his palms. “You tried,
you never gave up, you saved everyone you could reach.”
Izuku smiled wetly. “Not even All Might…was able to save everyone.”

Ochako stilled, Izuku’s words getting through. To hear him place trust
in her was one thing…but comparing her to All Might?

“You didn’t fail.” He said, voice warm and cheeks growing
wetter as his panic gave way to his own sorrow. “I froze up in
there Ochako, people needed me and I froze up…but then I saw you…charging
through the fire.” He smile shrunk by an inch. “You saved me there
too.”

Ochako, hiccupped before another sob left her. “All those people
they…she died because-”

“Ochako.” Izuku exclaimed, resolutely. “This…” He
took a deep breath, the tears in his eyes clogging up his throat. “This…wasn’t
your fault.”        

Ochako let out a chocked sob, covering her mouth with her hands, looking
at Izuku, seeing her pain reflected in his eyes as he held her face in his
hands. She reached out for him, running her hands through his hair while
minding his bruise, gulping the lump in her throat. “It…wasn’t your fault
either.”

Izuku opened his mouth, to agree, to refute to argue, it didn’t matter.
Ochako flung herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck as she kissed
him desperately, the salty bite of their tears where their lips met.

They soon stopped as Ochako hugged him closer, her head next to his as
he squeezed closer as he shook, their sorrow melding together in their embrace
as it came pouring out.

They spent a while on the couch like that clinging together as their
shared sobs quieted and slowed, until they sat silently in a calm embrace,
their arms so limp one of them could just get up and leave…which they wouldn’t,
even if they had the strength.

“Sorry.”

Izuku looked at Ochako for a moment, not sure he heard her right an
account of her sore her voice sounded, “what was that?”

“I’m…sorry for just…” She gestured vaguely with one hand.
“Just…falling apart like this.” She shook her head. “I feel
kinda…selfish for doing that.”

“Don’t be.” Izuku smiled with a weak chuckle. “I was
doing the same as you…after a night like this…I think it was a good thing we
both, uh, fell apart like that together.” He buried his head in her head
again, letting out an easy breath. “I was actually gonna apologize for the
same thing so…don’t worry.”

Ochako was quiet for a while, taking in the smell of him this close and
safe, before sagging against him and sighing. “Thank you, by the way, for
being here when I…I really needed it, really thank you Izuku.” Her head
was jarred for its comfortable position by Izuku laughing of all things,
which she responded with a quick jab to his stomach. “What’s so
funny?”

“Nothing.” He chocked and laughed, rubbing where Ochako hit
him. “It’s just…are you going to steal the words from my mouth all night
or what?”

He laughed again, and this time Ochako joined him.

She shook her head, and rubbed one of the many bandages covering her
form. “We should…probably go find Recovery Girl…we kinda did a lousy job
on these.”

“You mean I did a lousy job.” He hugged her with a
tired smirk. “But yeah…we should probably find her sooner rather than
later…who knows how she’ll react to us just…leaving without getting
proper medical attention.”

“Not in a fun way…that’s for sure.”

He laughed again, this time with a bit more strength behind it.

—

Recovery Girl, did not, in fact, react well to them running off. The
only reason they didn’t get an ear full for running off while having several
first degree burns was that she simply had far more people to deal with
than them, so she sent them off with a reprimand and a promise this
would not be the last they hear of her and the subject.

Ochako felt the spot where the large wound had been, a phantom sensation
of where the wooden beam landed on her as she-tried to save the child
from the fire. She felt a frown tugging down on her lips before she felt
someone hold her hand.

“You okay?” Izuku smiled down at her worriedly, only mollified
when she squeezed his hand back. “…I think we had enough excitement for
one day…wanna go home?”

Ochako nodded, feeling dead on her feet. “Yeah, I could use a long
nap after-” She stopped, the sound of inconsolable sobbing reaching her
ears and making her heart drop through the floor.

“Ochako?” Izuku fretted, seeing her look somewhere to her
left. “Did something hap-” He stopped, his face falling. “…oh.”

Right there, across the hall, were the two people Izuku had managed to
get out of the burning building…the parents of Minami Ako.

“Ochako…” Izuku whispered in her ear, they were in civilian
clothes so they had not yet been spotted, they could still walk away. “You
don’t have to-”

“I do.” She said firmly, though her voice still shook. She
clenched her fists as she saw the mother cry and sob for her lost child, a stab
of shame going through her at her own display of grief earlier while the woman
had been going through so much pain. “I must do this.”

Izuku was quiet for a moment, before he nodded. “Okay, I won’t stop
you.”

“They need someone to be strong for them.” Ochako muttered,
some doubt in her voice if not her words. “I need to be that strong
someone.”

“You don’t have to be strong alone though.”

Ochako looked back at Izuku at those words, a warmth floating through
her as she met his brilliant smile. “Do you…” She mumbled quietly,
“do you really think I can do this?”

“Of course.” He stated confidently. “You’re Uravity, the
hero who picks people up.”

She saw a flash of sadness in his eyes then, and she grabbed his hand.
“And you’re Deku, the hero who can save anyone.”

They shared a scared but determined smile, took a breath, and walked
towards the grieving couple.

Tomorrow, they would need to file an official report, coordinate a
public announcement towards the victims and their families…but today, tonight,
they fulfil their duty towards Minami Ako.

And they do it together.