Guilty Gear Sitcom AU inspired by the song “Birthday Train” (an actual song on the GG Rev ost it’s crazy)

– Fredrick (or “Sol” as his friends call him) is convinced that he has the worst luck in the world.

– Sol used to be part of a heavy metal band in his youth, when one night of excessive drinking left him with a baby on his door step. At age 17. Whoops. He does the right thing and takes care of her as best he can, getting a job as a sort of “handyman” taking any kind of odd job he could find. (He had a pretty good guess as to who the mother was, but he never saw her again)

– It was hard going but somehow he managed, Dizzy grew up to be a smart and sweet woman, and even found a loving husband. It took a long while for Sol to warm up to Ky (mostly because the blond somehow got it into his head that the two of them should be friends), but he had to admit the guy loved his daughter, so he gave them his blessing and went on his way.

– He very deliberately tried to distance himself from the two, knowing his bad luck would probably rub off on them and wanting to spare them the trouble…until his bad luck found him sitting on the sidewalk while the burning wreckage of his house glowed behind him as he waited for the fire department to get off their ass.

– So, he needs a place to stay. And unfortunately the only place available was his daughter’s house. Thankfully they were both happy to have him crash on the couch while he figured out what to do, and he promised to try and stay out of their hair as much as he could.

– Dizzy has always thought her father was a bit distant. He was a man of few words and subtle actions. She knew he loved her but just didn’t know how to express it, so she’s determined to use this opportunity to learn more about him. (Ky is just glad he gets another crack at making a friend out of Sol, Dizzy silently cheers him on while knowing he doesn’t stand a chance)

– Since both Dizzy and Ky have steady jobs, Sol figured that while things would be a bit hectic, it’ll all calm down and he can work on getting his life in order without interfering with his daughter’s life overly much. Simple. Then a week into his visit Dizzy breaks the news that she’s pregnant over dinner. Ky jumps for joy and twirls Dizzy around while Sol chocked on his pasta. Okay, so much for simple. (It took every inch of self restraint he had not to strangle Ky for knocking his daughter up not two months into the marriage. It helped that he didn’t want to be a hypocrite)     

– While Sol attempts to put his own life back together (and sort out his feelings about the whole Dizzy is pregnant oh God situation) he finds out that his daughter and son-in-law had moved into the most insane neighborhood possible, their neighbors including:

* Baiken: A one armed Japanese lady with an eye patch that tends to look at Sol like he’s a piece of dog turd she just cleaned off her boot. He can often see her polishing and sharpening her blades on her porch in the morning. And the evening. And that’s blades plural, he’s been living here at least two months now and he has never seen the same sword twice. (He swears he’s seen her before, but he has no intention of getting within decapitation range to ask if they’ve met)

* Potemkin: A bodybuilder twice Sol’s height who may or may not be part robot. He’s a bit quietly intense and Sol thinks he saw him try and suplex a car once or twice. He’s a pretty alright guy overall though but Sol once shook his hand and nearly lost an arm. 

* Millia and Zato: A young couple living across the street who are outwardly pretty polite, but closer inspection leads Sol to conclude that they are either A. Crazy. Or B. Assassins for hire on Sabbatical. Millia talks about taking care of her hair the same way soldiers talk about maintaining their guns, and Zato trains his seeing eye dog (Eddie, a Great Dane who Does Not Like Sol One Bit) to attack a straw dummy every morning. He keeps his distance.

*  Jam: A constantly down on her luck Chinese restaurateur with broken English who is constantly trying to get Sol to join as a busboy, or a waiter, or something else that requires heavy lifting and can be payed with minimum wage. He’s half convinced she’s faking the broken English for sympathy points or to get people off guard so they give more generous tips. He went to her restaurant once with Dizzy for launch, and saw Jam send a violent costumer flying out through a wall with one punch to the chest. (She then spent the next ten minutes crying about how much it’s going to cost to fix the wall. Dizzy and he opted for pizza that afternoon)

* Faust: A doctor who can be charitably called zany. He’s as tall as Potemkin but thin as an electric poll, and constantly crouches when he sits. He speaks disjointedly and at length about all sorts of things that Sol can barely follow, and while Dizzy is glad for his company, since having a doctor so close to home will make the pregnancy safer and potentially easier to handle, Sol is half convinced his medical license is fake. (Oh, and he wears a paper bag over his head with a single eye hole in it. Because of course he fucking does.)  

* I-no: A crazy guitarist who only has a vague concept of both shirts and personal space. Apparently she was a huge fan of Sol back during his music days, and considers him leaving the Rock and Roll life style in favor of raising a kid to be a nearly unforgivable tragedy. She keeps trying to convince him to join her band and tour the world, Sol very resolutely ignores her. (Both because him chasing that life style is what put him here in the first place, and because I-no seems to be incapable of speaking in anything that isn’t innuendo or a double entendre. Creepy.) 

– Lots of shenanigans, naturally, ensue. What kinda shenanigans? How should I know I only played like two GG games.